My cat loves me too much - Close relationship with her danger cat

Do you think your cat loves you too much, that a close relationship has developed between you and your cat?

But is it possible that a cat loves its owner too much? How do you know if it is a fusional relationship? Here's all you need to know about benefits of having a cat who loves you, drawbacks of a too close relationship with him and the dangers of a dependent relationship between you and your cat.

And finally, I'll give you some tips for:

• prevent your cat from becoming hyper-dependent on you
• avoid suffering from separation anxiety or fear of abandonment
• establish the distance necessary for a healthy relationship between your cat and you

Does my cat really love me too much?

• If your cat follows you everywhere, in your room, in the kitchen, in your bathroom and even to the toilet,
• If your cat sticks to you nonstop,
• If he's used to sleeping with you,
• If he licks you all the time, rubs against your legs, snuggles up against you,
• If your cat has trouble staying alone, he often meows while you are away ...

So it is likely that your cat loves you too much !

My cat loves me too much - is this normal?

Some might envy you because building a relationship of complicity with very strong bonds of affection is very rare between a cat and a human.

Indeed, cats naturally have an independent character which does not prevent them from forming human links (see How do cats see humans?). But a emotional relationship as strong is not at all normal between a cat and a human (unlike dogs).

My cat loves me too much - Benefits

To love a lot and sometimes love too much can be a real asset in a relationship with her cat :

• Strong complicity;
• Emotional need fulfilled;
• Well-being with your cat (benefits of purring on mental health);
• Good understanding of their needs;
• No conflict;
• Pleasure of living in harmony with your cat;
• Less loneliness on a daily basis by spending all your time with him ...

My Cat Loves Me Too Much - Disadvantages

• Too clingy attitude of your cat which can become annoying and tiring for you;
• The presence of other people can make your cat feel insecure or upset;
• A behavioral problem can arise in the face of new situations (new spouse, arrival of a baby, a roommate, etc.). See how to behave with a cat looking jealous ;
• Fear of separation and abandonment;
• Emotional dependence which can generate behavioral problems in you and your cat (meows at night, cat attacking for no reason, cat urinating all over in the House…) ;
• Hyperattachment Syndrome (see detail below).

My cat loves me too much - Why?

When your cat loves you too much and your emotional bonds are as strong as described above, this is what specialists call the hyperattachment syndrome.

They found that this syndrome appears most often in cats that were separated from their mothers when they were too young or in cats which have been too pampered, too coucouné when they were kittens (see how to raise a 3 month old kitten).

The cat then considers his master as his mother and will get used to doing everything with him and therefore following him everywhere. But unlike the cat who will be able to teach her kitten to be autonomous and to socialize properly, her master will not instill this learning phase which is nevertheless essential!

If you adopted your kitten when he was too young and not independent, he felt a situation of well-being, a feeling of security with you. This created in your kitten expectations on your part, a strong need to feel close to him. And if you haven't taught him to be alone, play on his own, and socialize with other cats and humans, that's what created a hyper-dependent relationship.

Close relationship with your cat - Affective dependence

If you and your cat have a fusional relationship, so much so that one or both of them cannot live without the other, there will be suffering during the separations.

For example, if you have to go on a weekend and leave your cat alone for 2 days, you are bound to feel guilty by leaving him and be worried or worried about your cat all weekend long.

For his part, your cat will feel real distress. His discomfort generated by your absence will lead to behavioral disorders: incessant meowing, kitten peeing everywhere, excessive licking, aggressive behaviour...

Close relationship with your cat - How to avoid it?

If you have to be away, in the event of hospitalization, business travel, the arrival of a baby or a pet in your household ... and to prevent you and your cat from being unhappy, you must react and change your relationship with your cat.

Close relationship with your kitten

The ideal is to be able to educate your kitten well from the first months.

If you adopt him when he is not yet fully weaned, avoid giving him the bottle for too long (see how to feed a kitten of a few weeks) and do it mother not permanently. Give him just the time it takes to feed him, cuddle him a little, play with him, educate him and above all get him used to sleeping in a room outside your bedroom (see how to take care of a 2 month old kitten?).

Close relationship with your adult cat

Is your cat already an adult and loves you too much? For restore a healthy relationship with non-excessive emotional ties with your cat, it will be necessary to establish new rules and another rhythm of daily life.

You will have to be patient because, depending on the case, repackage a chat in your daily relationships can take several weeks… See how to do it below:

Recondition your cat to normal relationships

Here's how to get your relationships back to normal while retaining affectionate bonds without hyperattachment or emotional dependence:

• If it has not already been done, install a cozy basket and teach him how to fall asleep at night without you in a room dedicated to his sleep (see How to put a cat to sleep).

• Of course, you are not going to stop petting and playing with your cat, but you will have to gradually limit the time you will spend together.

• You should stop taking it on you all the time and cuddle him constantly. Don't ask for it anymore but wait for your cat to come to you.

• Et if your cat is too demanding, it will be necessary to learn to repel gently by diverting attention or distracting him with something else (with treats, interactive toys, by taking him to another room…). Offer him a stimulating environment (cat tree, hiding places, tunnels…).

• Teach your cat to go outside and come back,

• Try to set up a routine well adjusted, for example when you are at home all day:
  • Food at 7 a.m.
  • Brushing teeth at 7 a.m.
  • 10 minutes of hugs at 7am
  • 30 minutes of games at 11 a.m.
  • 10 minutes of cuddling at 18 p.m.
  • 20 minutes of games at 18:10 p.m.
  • Food at 19:00 p.m.
  • Put him in his room to put him to bed around 20:00 p.m.

• Finally, you will need thegradually get your cat used to being alone : 1 hour a day to start, then you will leave it for 2 hours, then half a day and finally a whole weekend!

What is a normal relationship with your cat?

Your cat must have a rhythm of life of its own and not modeled on yours.

To avoid suffering from a too close relationship, your cat must be able to:

• feel good even if he feels you elsewhere in another room of the house,
• stop following or sticking to you all day,
• with moments of games and cuddles with you a few hours during the day (not all the time),
• succeed in sleeping elsewhere than with you,
• stay alone without suffering from your absence.

If you have tried to put distance between your cat and you but without result, if you see that your cat is still suffering from emotional dependence, hyper-attachment towards you, then make an appointment with a behaviorist educator who can help you.